Therapeutic Specialties

Dating, Romantic Relationships & Attachment

For individuals who want to better understand how they date, attach, choose partners, and show up in romantic relationships.

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You want a healthy and secure relationship but something keeps getting in the way.

You may find yourself repeatedly attracted to unavailable partners, becoming anxious when someone pulls away, ending up in “situationships” that never fully develop, feeling used for sex or intimacy without commitment, or dating people who come on strong and then retreat when closeness deepens. You may also notice yourself losing interest when someone is emotionally available, pulling away when things become serious, or wondering why dating feels so much harder than other areas of your life.

Therapy can help you understand the patterns underneath your romantic relationships so you can begin making choices from greater awareness rather than repeating what is familiar.

Areas I work with

Is this you?

I have extensive training in various therapy modalities that address trauma across the mind, body, and psyche. Together, we can work with the symptoms and patterns that may be affecting your life today.

What You Learned

Your early experiences may have taught you:

  • Love has to be earned

  • Closeness can disappear unexpectedly

  • Conflict means rejection

  • Your needs are “too much”

  • You are “not enough”

  • Independence is safer than relying on someone

  • Being desirable is how you stay connected

  • You need to take care of others to be loved

  • You have to give something to be valued

  • Being vulnerable may feel weaker or less safe than being in control

  • Love can become tied to performance, being chosen or needing validation

How You Protect

How you learned to adapt:

  • Feeling uncomfortable receiving, resting, or letting someone else lead

  • Doing too much in order to feel secure or needed

  • People-please

  • Overfunction

  • Pull away when someone gets too close

  • Become hypervigilant to changes in tone or behavior

  • Avoid expressing needs

  • Seek reassurance

  • Use manipulation to control outcomes

  • Stay emotionally guarded

  • Overthink texts, conversations, or changes in contact

  • Choose unavailable partners

How It Shows Up

You may notice:

  • Anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment

  • Leaky emotional boundaries

  • Repeating the same relationship dynamics

  • Losing yourself in relationships

  • Wanting more polarity, softness, or reciprocity but not knowing how to create it

  • Difficulty trusting

  • Fear of abandonment

  • Fear of commitment

  • Feeling exhausted by how much effort dating or relationships seem to require

  • Staying too long in relationships that aren’t working

  • Feeling pulled to people who cannot fully meet you

Who We Choose is Rarely Random

Our romantic relationships are shaped by more than conscious preference. Attachment experiences, family-of-origin dynamics, past relationships, cultural expectations, and early ideas about love can all influence who feels attractive, exciting, safe, or familiar.

Sometimes we consciously know what we want in a relationship, yet repeatedly find ourselves drawn toward dynamics that leave us anxious, disconnected, overfunctioning, or unsure of where we stand.

This does not mean you are destined to repeat the same patterns. Understanding what feels familiar—and why—can create more freedom in how you choose and relate.

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Understanding the Parts of You That Show Up in Love

One part of you may desperately want closeness while another becomes uncomfortable as soon as someone gets too close.

One part may want a committed relationship while another feels trapped when commitment becomes real.

One part may know intellectually that a delayed response means very little while another immediately fears rejection or abandonment.

Rather than judging these reactions, therapy can help you become curious about the different parts of yourselfthat are showing up, what they may be protecting, and where they may have originated.

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My Approach to Psychotherapy

My approach is psychodynamic, relational, trauma-informed, and depth-oriented.

We may explore your attachment patterns, family-of-origin relationships, previous romantic experiences, nervous-system responses, cultural expectations around relationships, and the unconscious patterns that influence attraction and partner choice.

I am interested not simply in helping you “partner better,” but in understanding what repeatedly draws you toward certain dynamics, what gets activated when closeness develops, and what may need to shift for relationships to feel more secure and reciprocal.

The goal is not to guarantee that relationships never hurt. It is to develop enough self-awareness, security, and trust in yourself that your romantic life is increasingly shaped by choice rather than repetition.

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Growth May Look Like:

  • Recognizing attachment activation before automatically reacting

  • Choosing partners based on compatibility rather than chemistry alone

  • Asking directly for what you need

  • Tolerating uncertainty without immediately assuming rejection

  • Staying connected to yourself while becoming close to someone else

  • Recognizing when attraction is being driven by familiar relational dynamics

  • Setting boundaries without fearing abandonment

  • Leaving relationships that consistently do not meet your needs

  • Becoming more comfortable with healthy interdependence

  • Experiencing secure relationships as meaningful rather than “boring”

  • Trusting yourself to navigate dating and relationships differently

What repeats is incomplete.

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